The way to get close to the emotion is to notice the ways you are avoiding, denying and suppressing it, these are useful signals that help steer our navigation.
We all have our go to tactics and coping mechanisms… food, work, call a friend, focusing on someone else’s problems, TV, doing well meaning ‘spiritual things’, cleaning, trying to find a cure / solution, looking at your phone, blaming somebody else (anybody else!), pretending we are OK, justifying it away, the next thing (whatever that is!), replaying the situation and so on…
Then we have our story about it… it happened due to this or that and it should be this way or that way. It happened because of……. and then we try to work it all out and make sense of it!!!
The mind throws up its ideas of how it was before and how it could, will or hope it will be afterwards and even its ideas of how we think it is now!
Sometimes these distancing and distracting behaviours are necessary and useful, we may not be ready to face and meet the emotion, it may seem like it will just be too much.
However… most of the time these behaviours are only habitual responses because we were never taught how to be with emotions in a safe, healthy way.
The key is to notice when we go into these familiar responses for here holds the opportunity to do it differently.
You may get part way through one of these familiar behaviours or even realise afterwards on reflection and that is OK.
It takes time, practise and repetition to rewire a behaviour.
And then one day when you don’t reach for one of these coping mechanisms…
This leads us to the body and THE BODY IS THE MEETING PLACE…
Chances are all along there has been a bodily response but we have overlooked or ignored it.
NOW… we get to notice the sensations in the body and let them be our guide.
We get to feel the burning in the chest or the heaviness in the belly, the tightness in the throat and give them permission to be there for as long as they wish and need to.
There is no pushing or shoving, no fixing or healing, no analysing or interfering… just a feeling of the moment to moment sensations.
Over time there may be a release, a movement, a change, insight may or may not appear, the sensations may or may not lead into an enquiry of exploring the opposite or into some inner child healing or the unravelling of a long held pattern.
The key is to let the body guide you… slow down, there is no rush.